Finally Belonging by Robyn B.

Word count 5,318

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I do not own any part of Lancer, or the characters.  I do however, take them out to gallop around the ranch every so often.

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I was in a bed, lying still against a mound of pillows.  My left arm was encased in a hard cast, and I was lying on some pillows at my side.

I heard the loud voices in the hallway and I tried to move my body from the bed.  As I pushed the covers off, I saw the heavy white cast on my leg.

I sighed and thought that I wasn’t going anywhere with this ugly heavy thing on my leg.  I quickly thought back to the incident that had caused me to have a broken leg and a broken arm.

I had been riding with Johnny in one of the green rolling fields of Lancer.  We had been so into each other, we didn’t notice that 2 riders were approaching, until it was too late.

I turned  as I heard my name called and I saw my father.  The other man was silent and had his gun already aimed at Johnny’s chest.

” Elizabeth Marie, I want you off that horse and away from that half breed.”

I heard the venom in his voice and I lifted my eyes to defy his words, once more and I said, ” No, I won’t father.  I am riding with Johnny and nothing you can say will make me go.  I’m of age father and this is where I am staying!”

As my father made a grab for the horse’s bridle, I heard a sharp whistle from Johnny.  Both my horse and Johnny’s Barranca suddenly reared up.

Throwing the men off balance, and Johnny swiftly pulled his gun and cocked the hammer.  Unfortunately, my horse wasn’t as well trained, and suddenly turned and took off at full run.

He got the bit in his teeth, and I had no way to control or even stop him.

Johnny swiftly holstered his gun, and turned Barranca, taking off after me.  I turned frightened eyes to look back at Johnny, as he tried valiantly to catch me.

Suddenly, I felt the horse stumbling and I was flung out of the saddle.  I landed hard and saw nothing but darkness.  I never felt Johnny dropping to my side, nor did I hear the sound of Johnny’s rifle, as he sadly put my horse down, his front leg broken beyond repair.

As Johnny turned his tear filled eyes to me, he softly caressed my cheek and I softly moaned in his arms.

Finding myself waking up to more pain than I had ever experienced.  Johnny took his gun out of the holster, and shot 3 bullets up into the air.  He layed his cheek to the top of my head, and he said, ” Hang on Querida.  Help is coming.”

I was still entombed in the darkness and I tried to fight thru the intense pain I had all over.  I thought I felt a small drop of liquid fall to my cheek, and I thought it was starting to rain.  It was however, Johnny’s tears as he held me.

My father had at this time made his way to where I layed and he started to come towards me, telling Johnny to get his dirty hands off me.

He soon found himself looking down the muzzle of Johnny’s gun.  Johnny softly but deadly sounding told him to back up.  The man with him pulled him back and said, “Lets go.  Don’t want to mess with Madrid just yet.”

As my father and the man left, a wagon was rolling towards us.  Murdoch, Scott and a few ranch hands dismounted.  Scott came to kneel by Johnny.  Putting his hand gently on  Johnny’s shoulder, he softly said that they were here.

Johnny lifted his tear filled eyes and saw Scott and he quietly told him what had happened.  Murdoch came over and said gently, “Johnny, we have to get her in the wagon. Jose has gone for Sam.  He’ll be there by the time we get her home.”

Johnny slowly nodded and as he released his hold on me, Murdoch leaned over and gently picked me up in his arms.  That gentle movement only illicited a soft hiss from my lips, and I never opened my eyes.

Scott had made a soft bed of straw and some blankets to lie me on.  As I was made comfortable, Johnny jumped up into the wagon and reached for my hand.

Scott had gotten Barranca tied to the wagon.  He softly asked where Diablo was, and Johnny pointed a shaking finger to where the horse layed.  As Scott looked, he saw the body of the horse and turned his eyes back to Johnny, only to see the tears sliding unchecked down his little brother’s cheeks

He gently patted Johnny’s shoulder, and then he mounted Charlemagne and the slow trek to Lancer began.  Johnny held me in his arms as the ride was at best torturous on my already broken body.

When we finally got to the ranch, Sam was indeed waiting.  Murdoch again picked me up and carried me to the room I slept in.  He layed me down on the bed, and Teresa and Sam went to work.  Murdock gently steered Johnny from the room and sat him in a chair in the Great Room.

Soon, there was a glass of whiskey in Johnny’s hand, but it was as if he was going into shock.  Scott and Murdoch could do nothing more than try to comfort Johnny as best as they could.

Johnny just lifted his pain filled eyes to Scott and there was a commotion as the front door was suddenly pushed open.  My father stormed into the room and locked his eyes on Johnny, shouting ,” You hurt my daughter!  You happy with yourself Madrid?!”

He began to advance on Johnny, and was stopped by Murdoch grabbing him.

” You will not speak to my son in that tone again. He is Johnny Lancer and don’t you see the pain he is in?  I don’t care that you are Lizzie’s father.  You came to my home uninvited.  I want you off Lancer property. NOW!!”

He pushed the man away in disgust and Murdoch then went to stand by Johnny, flanked also by Scott.  Sam came down the stairs and saw the commotion going on and looked at Johnny.

” She’s asking for you Johnny. “

Johnny as off the chair in a shot and as he raced up the stairs, my father took off behind him, followed by Scott and Murdoch.  Before Johnny got to the door, my father turned him around and pushed him against a wall, saying, ” No damn half breed is gonna be anywhere near Elizabeth!”

Murdock and Scott pulled my father off Johnny, and Johnny went into the room.  He leaned his back to the door and when my head slowly turned, Johnny strode across the room to my side.

He reached for my hand, noting the cast on the other.  He leaned over and gently kissed my cheek as he pushed my wildly mussed hair back from my face.

” Guess you will be house bound for awhile Lizzie. “

He saw the heavy cast on my leg and he sadly lowered his eyes.  “I’m sorry I caused your injuries Querida.  I had to do something.  Just didn’t think Diablo woulda spooked like that.  I’m sorry baby.”

My eyes, feeling heavy from the glass of water with sleeping powder in it Sam gave me.  I looked at Johnny.  I knew I had to ask before I was asleep.

My soft voice lifted to Johnny’s ears and I quietly asked, ” Is Diablo okay Johnny?  Did he get hurt?”

I saw the instant look of intense pain as it swiftly came to Johnny’s sapphire eyes.

” Johnny?”

Quietly, in a whisper, Johnny said, ” He didn’t make it Lizzie.  His leg was broken in too many places.  I had to put him down.  I’m sorry Querida.  If I could take it all back I would.  I knew what he meant to you.”

My jade eyes slid shut, but not before Johnny saw the huge tears sliding down my cheeks.  When my eyes opened, I saw Johnny’s head was lowered.  I lifted my hand to Johnny’s cheek. As I softly touched his wet cheek, he slowly raised his head.

My eyes locked on his, both filled with sadness and pain, and as my fingers caressed his face, my voice, softly filled Johnny’s broken heart.

” It’s okay Johnny.  It wasn’t your fault.  It was my father’s for trying to make me leave you.  Johnny, I’m never leaving you or the ranch.  This is where I belong.”

I saw a look of relief come to Johnny’s eyes and he gently gathered me in his arms and pulled me to his body.  He was still holding me in his arms when Sam came back in.

Gently, he placed a hand on Johnny’s back and said, “John, son, she needs her rest.  You do too.  I’ll sit with her for awhile.”

Softly, as my eyes were slowly becoming unfocused, I said, ” I’ll be okay Johnny.  Go rest.  Sam won’t let anything happen to me.”

Johnny leaned over and gently kissed my lips.  

” I’ll be back in a few hours Querida. “

I smiled and found myself slipping against the mound of pillows.  As Scott opened the door to help Johnny to his own bed, I could hear Sam saying, ” I don’t want her father upsetting either of them Murdoch.  It would be well advised to get that man off Lancer. “

I hoped that was what Murdoch did and I felt the darkness of drug induced sleep reaching out to cradle me against the pillows.

When I woke, it was dark outside. My eyes tried to focus, and I saw Johnny’s form come to my eyes.  He was sitting in a chair by the bed, sleeping.  I reached my hand out and gently touched his arm.

He was instantly awake, a soft smile on his lips as he leaned forward and kissed me gently.  I lifted my eyes and saw the sadness had lessened, but it was still present.

His hand caressed my cheek and he softly asked me how I was.  My soft smile fell to my lips as I said, ” I’m okay Johnny.  Just sore and no I don’t want any laudanum. “

I saw the slow smile come to Johnny’s lips and he said, ” Yea, I know what you mean Querida.  I’m not too fond of it or morphine either. “

Johnny moved from the chair to sit on the edge of the bed.  He moved his back to lean against the headboard and gently pulled me to his body.  His hand cradled the cast covering the break to my arm.  His other arm was wrapped around my shoulder.  I felt as it went around my body and pulled me to Johnny’s chest.

I felt my eyes close in contentment, as I felt Johnny’s body relax.  I knew a huge weight was finally lifted from his shoulders.

Scott walked in and saw us in my bed, lying against each other, and he smiled and said, ” You must be awake enough to eat. I’ll tell Teresa to get food for you both.”

He turned with the smile still caressing his lips as he left the room.

As the days began to move forward, Johnny reluctantly went back to work with his brother.  No more news regarding my father, who had not been found and I relaxed.

Sam said I was healing fast and soon the cast on my arm would come off.  The one on my leg was gonna be awhile longer.

Johnny would always eat his dinner upstairs with me.  Talking about the days activities, always wanting to race thru the day to come home to me at night.

As my hand reached for the goblet of wine, Johnny noticed the tremor and held the glass for me, until my hand ceased to shake.

As Johnny finished his dinner, he lowered his head slowly.  I instantly noticed and my soft voice caused Johnny to lift his head and lock those beautiful deep blue eyes on mine.

” Is something wrong Johnny?”

He slowly smiled and quietly said, as his fingers gently caressed my cheek, ” No Querida, just thinking about what I wanted to say.”

My eyes widened a little and I felt an unwanted flick to my heart.  Johnny saw the pain slide into my eyes and he leaned forward and said, ” No, relax Lizzie, it’s nothing to worry about, I just don’t know how to say this, other than to just say it.”

I lifted my eyes to search Johnny’s, hoping to see what was causing him such doubts.  Johnny took the plate from my lap and placed it on the small stand by the bed.

Johnny moved to the side of the bed , facing me, and reached for my hand.

” Elizabeth, in the past year that you have been at Lancer, I have felt my feelings for you growing every day.  I feel at peace when I am around you, that I can push Johnny Madrid aside and really be Johnny Lancer.  That day in the field, when you were hurt, I felt like my whole world was crashing down around me.  I felt like you were slipping away and your father would win.  Querida, I knew once you woke up and assured me that you were not going to leave, I knew I could breathe and start to think of a life, with you, here at Lancer.  I know you are of age Lizzie, and you can make your own decisions.  I want to marry you Elizabeth.  I will be a good husband, a good father and I will protect you with my life.  Please Lizzie, say yes.”

I looked in Johnny’s deep sapphire eyes, seeing his hopeful look shining thru.  My smile began slowly and as Johnny saw it growing on my lips, he finally knew my answer, even before I voiced it.

” Yes Johnny, I will marry you.  I want to grow old with you, surrounded by our children and their children.”

Johnny leaned forward and he wrapped his arms around me.  I felt his lips covering mine and I felt as if the weight was gone.  That as long as Johnny and I were together, that his life would even out.

Johnny layed his head to my shoulder and I felt his soft nuzzle against my neck, burying his face into my soft hair.  We were still in each other’s arms, when Scott came in to retrieve the plates.

He stopped and saw us and a soft smile caressed his lips.

” Johnny, you and Lizzie ready for dessert?”

Johnny moved his head from my shoulder and turned deep blue eyes that were sparkling towards his brother.  He turned to look at me and as his hand went up into my hair, he softly said, ” I did it Boston, I asked Lizzie to marry me and she said yes Scott.”

The smile was instantly on Scott’s lips and he clasped his brother’s shoulder and said, ” Congratulations little brother.  How long?”

I looked up at Scott and said, ” Well, have to wait till this monster is off my leg.”

” Wait till I tell Murdoch and Teresa.  She’s gonna love planning this wedding you know.”

I laughed and said, ” Yea, I know Scott.  We need something good at the ranch. “

They both agreed.  Scott left the tray of dessert for us and took the dinner plates away.  After Scott left, Johnny looked at the dessert and his smile couldn’t get any bigger.  Two big slices of chocolate cake and 2 big cool glasses of milk.

I watched as Johnny dove into the piece of cake and my eyes filled with sparkles as I watched.

All too soon , I started to get tired and Johnny stood.  He leaned over and gently kissed me.  Before Johnny moved from the bed, he said, ” We’ll start talking about things tomorrow. night.  Get as much done so that when Sam takes this off of you, we can get married the next day.”

Johnny leaned over again, and as his hands went up into my hair, his lips softly covered mine.  I felt the silent command and I knew my life would forever belong to Johnny Lancer from this night forward.

He helped me slide down in the bed and covered me with a soft blanket and wished me a good night and left.  I think I was asleep before the click of the door could be heard.

Over the next couple of months, Sam came back and after he examined me, he said one more week and the cast could come off.  I sighed softly and Sam only laughed.

Sam looked at me and said, ” Johnny told me about the good news.”

I smiled and said, ” Yes, I finally will have the family I always wanted.  Johnny will have something he’s always needed too.  To belong.”

Sam agreed.  After he left, I was visited by Jelly.  He came in and handed me a letter and said, ” It does Johnny loads of good because of you Miss Elizabeth.  That boy just plumb loves you with a fierceness no one can understand. “

I smiled and after Jelly left, I opened the letter.  As I read it, my heart began pounding in my chest.

I started to scream, ” Nooo! ” and I guess Johnny and Scott were just entering  the house when my scream echoed thru the house.

Johnny raced up the stairs and flew into the room.  He took in the room and then me.  My eyes were huge and I held the letter gripped in my hand.  Johnny gently pried the letter from my clenching fingers, and threw it to the bed.

Johnny sat on the bed, drawing me against  his hard body.  As he held me, his soft voice lifted to my ears as he strove to calm me.

Scott and Murdoch were soon in the room.  They saw me wrapped in Johnny’s arms, just staring wild eyed and shaking.  Murdoch looked at me and then softly spoke to Johnny.

” You have her John?”

” Yea.”

Scott lifted the letter and handed it to Murdoch.  As he read it, you could almost see the anger flowing off him in waves.  Johnny looked up and the question in his eyes was answered by the letter Murdoch handed him.

As Johnny’s eyes moved over the letter, he began to shake.  Not from fear but from a growing anger.  He held me tighter in his arms and quietly said, ” How can that man be so cruel as to say things like this to his own daughter?”

” I don’t know Son.  For the next couple days, you stay here, in the house, and keep her safe.  I mean it John, don’t leave the house.  I’ll go to Green River and tell Val.  Maybe we can figure out what to do then.”

After they left, Johnny one handed, opened his gun belt.  As it began to slide from his hips, he lifted it to the headboard.  He moved his back to the headboard, kicked his boots off and pulled me into his arms, laying my head to his chest.

Johnny’s left hand caressed my hair and my face, his right hand left free, just in case.

Johnny’s eyes closed and he leaned his head back against the headboard.  As I slowly came back to awareness, Johnny softly said, ” I got you Querida.  Just rest.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”

I slowly licked my dry lips and very quietly said, ” I can’t lose you Johnny.  He’s crazy.  Don’t leave me Johnny. Please don’t leave me alone.  Please!”

” Shh Querida.  I’m not going anywhere.  Murdoch is talking to Val.  I’m sure Val can fix this.  In the meantime, Murdoch has ordered me to stay in the house with you.”

I slowly began to feel the tremors leaving my body and I moved closer into Johnny’s embrace.

Teresa came up a few minutes later and asked if she should bring up any food for us, and Johnny said yes.  She turned, but not before Johnny saw her tears.

As we waited for her return, Johnny softly and quietly sang to me in Spanish.  A soft sounding song that he knew would calm my frazzled nerves.

As the soft song ended, I breathed deeply.  I had stopped shaking and just layed in Johnny’s arms, drained of any energy I possessed.

Softly, my quiet voice lifted to Johnny’s ears and I said, ” Johnny, how could he say such things to me?  It was so filled with venom and hate.  He said such horrible things about you, how he was going to torture and hurt you until I left with him.”

Johnny stopped me and just held me.

” Don’t go there Querida. “

My soft sigh told Johnny that I was sorry and he wrapped his arms around me even tighter.  We were asleep when Teresa returned.  She left the tray of food and quietly left.

Scott and Murdoch came back a little after dark.  Johnny sat up and gently layed me on the bed.  He put his boots back on and reached for his gun belt.  As he strapped it to his hips, he softly asked if Val could do anything.

” Yes , it’s a crime to make threats like this.  He arrested the man and he is in Val’s jail as we speak.”

Johnny sat down in a chair and said ,” So it’s over.  Lizzie won’t have to worry that her father will kill me and force her to watch. “

Scott sighed and said ” Nope.  Val said he’s gonna be in jail until the district judge comes out…… in 3 months.”

Johnny turned to me and he saw I was awake.  Johnny moved to my side and helped me to sit up

” He’s really locked up?”

” Yea, he can’t hurt us baby.”

My eyes closed and I visibly relaxed.

” I just want to marry you Johnny.  So he can’t ever come between us again.”

The smile that came to Johnny’s lips, released the pain my father had caused us and I saw Johnny’s eyes sparkle.

” Maybe we can get Sam to rush your release from this white monster.”

I smiled, probably the first relaxed smile in 2 months I had.  I heard the relaxed laughs and felt Johnny’s arms sliding around my waist and pulling me back against his chest.  

As Scott and Murdoch started talking about what needed to be done with the work on the fence line, Johnny leaned his head to my neck.  As I felt the soft caresses of his lips, his soft voice, suddenly deep sounding said against my ear, low enough for only me to hear.

” I can’t wait till we are married Querida, and I can finally get you in my bed and love you the way I’ve been imagining for months.”

I turned my head and looked up at Johnny’s face.  I saw the sparks of fire in his deep blue eyes and the smile he wore.  The same smile that he used when he knew he had won.  My lips caressed his lips and I quietly said, ” You been thinking of making love to me for Johnny?  Mmm, wonder if your thoughts have been the same as mine?  Maybe once this cast is off, before our wedding, we should compare notes Johnny.”

Johnny turned to look at me closer and he said, ” Perhaps we could even experiment tonight after everyone retired for the night.”

My eyes instantly filled with a fire, Johnny’s smile became almost demonic.

I felt Johnny’s gentle kiss and then it slowly intensified and when Johnny leaned back, I was rather breathless.

Scott seemed to know that his little brother had some plan up his sleeves and nodded to Murdoch that they’d better go downstairs and plan out what sections of fence needed the most work.

We all said our good nights and as Scott closed the door, he shot his brother a sly smile.  

Johnny moved against the headboard and he softly caressed my cheek.  ” We’re alone at last Querida. “

I smiled at Johnny and I saw that he was looking nervous.  I lifted my fingers to caress his cheek and then reached up to gently push the hair from his face.

Johnny leaned forward and I felt his lips gently caressing mine.  The longer the kiss, the more intense it became.  My breath hitched in my throat and all too soon, Johnny leaned away.

Johnny stood up in front of me and as my eyes looked up into his eyes, my fingers moved to run down his arms.  My fingers went to hover over his gun belt, and I ran my fingers gently over the leather.

As my eyes lifted to Johnny’s face, my fingers slowly unbundled his gun belt.  It slid from his hips to fall silently to the floor behind Johnny.

My hands rose to his chest and for some reason, I started to tremble.  I felt Johnny’s hands cover mine and he softly said, ” It’s okay Lizzie.  It’s okay to be nervous.  I’m nervous too.”

” You are?”

Smiling softly, Johnny said, ” Yea.  I never loved anyone enough before to ever be nervous.  I just want it to be perfect for you.”

Softly, I said, ” It will be.”

I moved my fingers across Johnny’s chest and as they found the tiny buttons on his shirt, they began to slide them open, one by one.

As Johnny’s chest came into view, my tongue came out and slid over my lips.  I felt the silky material slip from his arms and moved my fingers to Johnny’s chest.

Caressing over his warm skin, I felt the soft hair on his chest, swirling my fingers in the thick black hair.  My fingers moved over his body, and I wasn’t paying attention, until my fingers caressed over his nipples.

The feathery touch wasn’t hard, but it sent a shiver thru Johnny’s body.  His eyes slid shut and I heard a soft sigh slip from between his lips.

It looked like Johnny’s body swayed against my touch.  A sudden thought came to my mind, and I slid another feather like touch over his nipples.

The following tremor was even stronger than the first one.

” Dios!”

Johnny’s eyes slowly opened and I saw a blue fire filling  his eyes.  ” You are driving me wild Querida. “

” I am?”

Johnny looked at me and he smiled slowly and said, as his hands caressed over my cheek, ” Your innocent act will not work my love.  You know exactly what you are doing to me.”

I lifted my eyes to look at Johnny and my eyes were filled with fire that was as consuming as the one I found in his eyes.  I moved my hands to the buckles on his pants and I felt them slide down his muscular legs.

Johnny’s body came to my eyes and my mouth became dry.  I moved my lips to gently caress his body.  I ran my fingers across Johnny’s taut belly and then lower, to gently caress the object of my desires.

My fingers touched Johnny’s hardness softly and the soft hiss I heard stopped me movements.  Johnny reached his arms to me and quietly, but with a voice laced with rising passions said ” Querida, I need to make you mine.  Need to move you onto the mattress.”

As Johnny lowered me to the bed, his hands gently pulled the nightgown I had on over my head.  His fingers caressed across my body and down my chest.  His fingers and then his lips touched my nipples, making my breath hitch in my throat.

Johnny laid me back on the pillows and moved his body so he was facing me.

” Madre de Dios!  You are so beautiful Querida. “

I smiled and reached my hands to Johnny’s chest, pulling him close to me. Johnny’s fingers slowly slid down my chest.  I felt fire erupting inside me everywhere Johnny touched me.

I felt something deep inside of me that I’d never felt before, and I tried to tell Johnny, but nothing came out of my mouth.

Johnny seemed to know what I needed.  He slid his hand slowly down my body and I felt his fingers slowly going inside of me.  All the time, that Johnny was making me insane inside, his eyes never left mine.

My head arched back against the pillows and I heard a soft moan come from my lips.  Johnny’s lips covered mine and he began to caress everywhere.

Johnny was driving me crazy.  His touch was gentle and his caresses enflamed my very soul.  As Johnny’s body laid over mine, I could sense he was stymied by the cast only leg.

Johnny gathered his wits and began to create in my body a fire that was going to consume us both. Johnny’s legs went gently in between mine and as his hard body slid against me, he looked at me and very softly said, ” I’ll take the pain away quickly Querida, I promise.”

As I felt johnny enter my body, I was suddenly gripped by an  intense pain.  I tried to pull away and Johnny held me tighter against his body.

Softly, as his hips pushed against me, he said, ” Don’t fight me Querida.  It will be easier in a minute.  Relax into my touch baby.”

I felt tears leaking from my eyes, and Johnny’s lips softly caressed them away.

Soon, the pain was leaving my body, and Johnny felt my surrender to his body.  As Johnny began to move against me harder and deeper, his lips covered mine.  In between his soft kisses, Johnny’s voice softly spoke words of Spanish, soft and gently.

I soon felt an intense tightening inside of me and as my head arched back and I softly began to cry out, Johnny’s body was soon gripped in his own organs. Johnny’s lips caressed me as our combined orgasms hit us together.

As our breathing began to slow, Johnny moved from my body, drawing me close to his side.  My body was tingling and I felt Johnny’s eyes sliding over my face.

When I looked into Johnny’s eyes, I saw a love that was shining just for me.  My fingers reached up to caress Johnny’s cheek and as he turned his head, I felt his lips caress the palm of my hand.

Softly, as my eyes filled with tears, my soft voice lifted to Johnny’s ears and I saw the soft smile that caressed his lips.

” It was perfect  Johnny.  I can’t wait to try it without the cast on my leg. “

Johnny’s lips caressed mine and he softly said, ” Me either Querida. “

Finally, we both belonged.

End

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